How to Make a Girl Who Is Really Mad at You Forgive You

OK, you really blew it this time! She's furious with you, and you don't know how she's ever going to forgive you! Should you send flowers? Her favorite cupcake? A new BMW? Hahaha.. maybe even say you're sorry—no matter what they say in the movies? Let's take a look at the options, and see if we can't help you get things patched up.

STEP 1

Apologize first and foremost. Apologies mean a lot—but only if they're sincere—apologize by saying something like "I'm sorry if my actions caused anybody any discomfort." Roughly translated, that means "Gee, sorry you're so thin-skinned."

• For example, saying something like "Honey, I'm sorry if making a pass at your sister bothered you, I was really drunk," blames your girlfriend for being upset, and makes an excuse for you—neither of which, despite the words, amounts to an apology.
• Instead, say "Honey, I am so sorry for my actions. It was totally inappropriate, and I have no excuse. It will never happen again." She's still not going to forgive you right away, but at least you've taken ownership of your actions and show contrition—instead of blaming everybody but yourself. That counts for a lot.

STEP 2

Write an apology letter. Sometimes, words will not be enough. As horrible or simple as what you did may have been, write a letter telling her you know what you did was your fault, how sorry you are, and how you'll never do it again, will not only show you really are apologizing, it will also give her something that she can—and will—re-read. You would do well to deliver the letter with flowers.

• In our example above, you may have two letters to write, not just one: The first letter, with roses (or her favorite flower), to your girlfriend. the second letter, to her sister. Do not send her sister flowers unless it's a bouquet you'd be comfortable sending to your mother.

STEP 3

Tell her how much you love her. Tell her that you are very sorry and never meant to hurt her. This is a good place to leave the conversation, and take your leave.

STEP 4

Let things cool off. Don't keep saying sorry because she will get more mad at you than she already is. Say your piece, and then excuse yourself. If you live with her, go take a walk, or shop for something she likes, or go watch a movie—just get out from under foot for a while. If you live elsewhere, go home.

STEP 5

Check in with her the next day. Email or text message her and make small talk. This may just get the conversation started on the right track to being how you were before, but realize that you can't completely ignore the fact that you were in the wrong.

STEP 6

Give her time, if she needs it. In fact she may never forgive you but all you can do until she lets you know is just wait.

The process of apologizing for a wrong done

and receiving forgiveness is a very natural part of human life.

If you are genuine, if you didn't screw up too bad

and if she's forgiving, count your blessings

and do as your heart says. -FRENANDO